Here's my blog's new home:

AlexMaximo.com

I'm now blogging professionally full-time for Bloggy Network and I'm handling LifeSpy.

For everyday tips and tricks just for anybody, visit LifeSpy.

"A Sunday"
by Jimmy Eat World

On a Sunday I'll think it through.
On the drive back I'll think it through.
What you wish for won't come true.
Live with that.
On a Sunday she thought it through.
Now as I drive back, there's thiry-six less hours I have to change the course I send myself.
Live with that.
On a Sunday go once around.
Because when the ride's done, the hopes that you have carried, they fall out from your hands back to the ground.
Live with that.
Learn as the drugs leave.
Learn as you lose it.
You will.
The haze clears from your eyes on a Sunday.

And they were outnumbered by tens of thousands.

Can it be done?

Yes, it can be done.

As long as your flanks hold their ground.

They did.

And the cavalry swept from the right like a hammer pounding on anvil.

Steel against steel.

Thus, Alexander the Great conquered himself an empire.

But they ask me now, can it be done?

Have the flanks held their ground?

And the cavalry charged and pounded against thin air.

"The way to dusty death..."

Rant, gossip, rant...

Such a vicious cycle...

Yes!!!

The Jerk Minister is back.

For so long, the "jerk" in this Ministry's sense has been for the advancement of male dominance. I have been thinking of never updating this thing after so long and put my "Jerk" badge in box to be kept away for forever. But come to think of it, being a jerk doesn't just cover being a MCP. Sure, I fell in love (and in too deep in it) with one of THEM. So no more prowling around for hootie-hoo or demeaning the females of the species. Enough said.

Otherwise, let me redefine the goals of this Ministry. Since this is a problem of reorienting whatever this blog aimed to stand for, it is necessary to define tenets one at a time.

I am an intellectual. Not necessarily a geek, but a think-tank. Do not get me wrong, I don't hate unlearned or ignorant people. It is my job, as an intellectual, to share knowledge (thus, my dreams of being part of the academe). Yes, I do believe that life is the greatest teacher of all.

Hence, this resolution (and quite drastic reorientation of goals): Zero tolerance for arrogant idiots! Sure, call me a jerk for flaunting my great intellectual acumen too much.

CODE 1: Knowledge is meant to be shared not withheld.

CODE 2: The complacency to remain ignorant is intolerable.

So there, I have it. Two initial codes that this Ministry shall revolve around.

***

Just this afternoon, I was sipping some iced mocha drink at Big R (with none other than the Jerk Tamer). Two tables from us, there was this bald beer-bellied bozo who made members of service crew come to him. He was asking them what courses they graduated from. One of the service crew, I think, graduated with a nursing degree. And this bozo said something like this (translated from Tagalog), "Why are you working here? You should be in a hospital changing diapers!"

What a fucking bastard. I just had the sudden urge to kick him then. He was rude. Absolutely rude. I just didn't want to create a scene since I wouldn't tarnish the Jerk Tamer's squeaky clean reputation by mauling a guy in a mall. No siree.

Otherwise, I really had the urge to kick his ass. I don't know what his business was doing that to service crew. I just hope that the poor girl spat in the coffee that he was drinking. Anyway, such ignorant fools deserve to die.

In a country where the greatest asset nowadays is having an American English accent, a decent job is quite hard to find. Remarks like those are only done by uncaring members of the bourgeoisie who have no regard for the working class. And I doubt if he was high-class bourgeois.

Maybe I was just a tad tired this afternoon. I usually engage people in debates when things like those happen.

And who said I didn't want to be a lawyer or something. Haha.

***

The incident above just reminds me.

All those in marketing or sales would always remember the cliche, "The customer is always right."

My boss right now actually thinks the same way. But for me, I don't think so. It should be "The customer should always get what he/she/it deserves."

I'd go into the rather juicy details of why I am heralding this notion.

***

The key to being rich is found in the WWE. Just remember Eddie Guerrero: Lie, cheat, steal.

We, MANLY MEN, do exist. If some WUSSIES actually think that they are part of the fictitious group of males known as GENTLEMEN, we have two words for them - GET REAL. Sure, you could always claim and adhere to chivalry, but it is dead. Go on and we will be convinced that you fancy wearing skirts instead of pants.

We are oftentimes labeled as JERKS because we get some females all riled up from our MANLY ways, but in the end, they find our MANLINESS overpowering. Yes, our MANLY ways bruise their egos, for females are, by nature, envious of our dominance. Take note, EVE was the one who wanted to get smart.

Is there actually a pathetic excuse for being a MAN? We deem not, brothers! We are innately men and the assumption of there being a SENSITIVE MAN is just purely that - an assumption. WOMEN continually dream of the SENSITIVE MAN as the end all and be all of things. Sure. That is, if unicorns do exist and leprechauns do have pots of gold. A SENSITIVE MAN? Hahaha.

So WOMEN say we are reckless with their hearts. Boohoohoo. They are with ours too! Love ends all what is MANLY in us! LOVE IS FOR THE WEAK, WE, JERKS, NEED ONLY TO MATE AND BREED!

We MANLY MEN do not think about SEX every six seconds contrary to what females would like to think. If we were such crotch brains then Albert Einstein's crotch would have been the seat of the past century's genius. Which would be much like everyone else in this world - created through a man's crotch.

No, we do not think about SEX every six seconds but we do dream that we could have it in the same frequency. We THINK about other things - things like basketball (or football depending on nationality), beer, and a night out with the BOYS. To confine us to such stereotype of a think-about-nothing-else-but-sex organism is such a fallacy. Try us, sex is only part of our wisdom, that is, combined with our knowledge of Allen Iverson's stat sheet and how many bottles of beer (or vodka) we can down in one sitting.

Sure, we like sex. But so do women! And blame us all for getting to think about sex! The only valid excuse for wearing such extremely low necklines, or such hip and butt hugging pants, or nanoskirts which show almost everything save for what's covered by a thong, is a shortage of cloth. But there is no shortage of both natural and synthetic fibers! What is the purpose then? Women know its effects on males, which is pretty much instinctive rather than conditioned. Yeah, wear those sexy clothes and spite us for having an erection!

Yes, my fellow MANLY MEN. We are led and are being driven to our own demise. How could we clearly ponder about generating the next genius thought when women are distracting us? Nature has it tough for us to concentrate but women are nurturing us to shed all the control of our battered logic.

And yes, women cringe at catcalls, for example, at the beach. Sure MEN may have invented the bikini but are we forcing women to wear them? Scream against gender inequality but embrace such fashion. Tsk, tsk, tsk.

Men are physically stronger than women, that's a fact. That is, if you're not watching Surreal Life 4 featuring Chyna and Minime where the latter is just the size of the former's right bicep. If that's the case I deem my first sentence debunked. Otherwise yes, we men are physically stronger.

Let us take this argument to the greatest sporting event in the world - the Summer Olympics. I have not yet heard of a world record that is higher for women than for men. That is, with the sports that demand speed and strength. The world record for lifting weights is still dramatically higher for men than for women. The fastest 100 meter dash in the world is set by a male nonetheless.

However, this is the same truth that provides the irony. Since we are innately stronger, women resign to the fact that physical work should be SOLELY done by the males. Yes, women belabor us with everything physical. Carrying the HEAVY stuff (Yes, that includes her books and her little hand bag when escorting her around campus or when walking around the mall). Yes, we are made to do the measly, supposedly trivial weight-load of carrying such things! Sure, we'd lift pianos and furniture for women. But we are forced to grunt under the weight and pressure of a cutsey little handbag.

And they talk about gender equality.

Bow down before us. In the 70s we are who you would call as the MCPs - the Male Chauvinist Pigs. But today, we are called MEN. But we are not swines. We are MEN! Yes, indeed. MANLY MEN. But we exist in a plane of existence where the female of the species outnumber us by a great percentage. There is enough prejudice against our kind that we, MEN, must fight back.

There is an unwritten creed that defines the lines of the sexes: All men are jerks while all women are pretentious bitches trying to be real. Yes, WE are JERKS. And by this creed we live our lives, trying to be toe to toe with the female of the species in asserting our dominance. But by sheer numbers alone, we are at a disadvantage.

How many of us, MANLY MEN, have dropped our guards against the pretentious ones? How many of us, MANLY MEN, have shed our precious tears which led others to thinking we are gay just because we got trapped in the pretense that reeked from the female of the species? MANY of us have!

So let this be our rally! We must get back at females for treating us woefully! Let us show them that we are not merely sperm donors for their over-achieving kind. We must level the playing field by showing them that we could have personas capable of driving them to irrational thought. Let us all drop the boxes of chocolates, flowers, and romantic poetry. If we would not be appreciated, then we will act accordingly!

We are not merely players, we are THE GAME!

AMEN?